This morning, I lay in bed awake somewhere around 4:30am, dreading a little what lay ahead—the taming of the house from the aftermath of sickness circulating throughout. Ric had fainted and grown terribly ill. After dealing with him, I could not sleep.
I just laid there and thought and prayed.
I have had many thoughts in my head for quite awhile now ----it seems I am always thinking about things to write in my blog. Every situation in my life seems to be worthy of a blog entry. However, it is coordinating the time and words to express all my profound thoughts that delays me in writing them.
I have been reading some amazing blogs lately ---and I think to myself "Ah, yes that is me. " or "I totally agree with that!" or "If I could only relay that on my blog...because I feel the same way too!" "If I could only write like that!"
I understand that I am not a writer by any means, but then again I am re-evaluating why I am writing in my blog. It is not to win any amazing article award, but rather to just write down life as it is in our home.
“Only a Christian has a right to hope, for only he has the power of God to give substance to his hope…Earth is bearable because there is hope.” A.W. Tozer
Life in our home lately has been busy with recovering from sickness, adapting to a newborn, and getting back into some sort of routine. I am tired and scatter brained.
I would love to be:
- Sewing
- Learning to Knit
- Scrapbooking
- Writing Music for a new CD
- Taking a bath
- Painting my fingernails and toenails
- Have my hair done
- Decorate and re-decorate
- paint a picture
I wish that:
- My Office was organized.
- My home and belonging were simplified
- We home was clean all the time
- Laundry was done
- We had a better schedule/ routine
- I had time to plan for homeschool and that homeschooling was easy
- I played more with my kids
- I had devotions everyday
- I was 40 lbs lighter
- All my meals were planned out
I put a lot of pressure on myself for not being the greatest mom and wife. I do recognize that I will never be perfect on this earth and that it is just one day at a time, one step at a time, leaning on God each day and through each moment to help me on this journey.
“And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we will reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9My purpose? Here is something I read in one my favorite
encouraging blogs:
A good question to ask is, “Am I living by what I can hope to accomplish by my hard work only?” or “Am I living in the realm of possibility of what God can accomplish, beyond my own skills and effort, because I am trusting Him to be accomplishing through me what He is able to do, even beyond my efforts, but according to His abilities?” Am I speaking life-giving encouragement to my children in the midst of their ideas and dreams, or do I throw water on them by asking them to be “realistic”. There is so much to be said about the work side of dreams, the bills to be paid, but today is a day to focus on the dreaming part of our lives. My vision for raising my children must be bigger than grades, SAT’s, getting a job. It must be a call to bow my knee before God and ask, what is your work for me? For my child? For our family? How can I bring you pleasure? How can I live in your power? May our sweet Father fuel our hearts with what is on His heart and use us and our children as He dreamed when He made us!Well, I had to get on with my day despite not wanting too. "Lord, be my strength"
- I was able to get Sophia off to her special day at an Asian Theme Day at her charter school.
- Picked up coffee and a kid's hot chocolate for Lydia and I
- Put on a movie for Lydia while Rosalia slept.
- I made the beds, cleaned the bathrooms, mopped the bedroom and bathroom floors.
- Put on a couple loads of laundry.
- Folded laundry.
- Ate some breakfast ---toast w/ Mimi's homemade strawberry jam and a little organic vanilla yogurt.
- Fed Rosalia and Lydia
- Taking a break to hold Lydia and write a blog entry.
Now, I am off to clean the breakfast dishes and mop the kitchen and family room floors.
One moment at a time.... attempting to worship the Lord in all that I do.
“How do we make the commitment to give the area of motherhood over to God as a sacrifice of worship to him? We yield our personal rights into his hands. We give up our time and expectations to him-and also our fears and worries about how we will manage. We trust him to take care of us and our family. We let him redirect our thinking and expectations and adjust our dreams. And we wait in faith to see the fruit of our hard labor in the lives of our children, knowing that he will be faithful to honor our commitment to him.”
The Mission of Motherhood, p. 54
