Bloggy Makeover -?? Hmmm, Me Makeover

It is quiet in my house right now. All the kids and big Papa kid and dog too are sleeping snuggley in their beds. I am wrapped in my warm quilt on the living room couch with my laptop.

A candle is lit.

I was browsing through facebook a little bit, wrapping up my to-do list for tomorrow...it is the day that I am preparing for my family to head out of town for Thanksgiving getaway to my parents and I started reading through a few blogs...something I haven't done in awhile.

I thought about doing some sewing, but it is getting late and I probably shouldn't risk waking up someone with the sound of my ever so quiet sewing machine.

So, I found myself here at my blog deciding to just write. I don't really have a topic, or thought out reason to write -- but felt I just needed to start typing and see what comes forth on the screen. Do you ever feel like doing that? --- just begin to write as to let your mind breathe a little? It feels good to just spill out sometimes. I do this in a prayer journal to the Lord sometimes -- but obviously more in depth and at a more deeper level. I am not going to go totally raw here with you as I would with the Lord -- that is a relationship that is so personal and deep. He is the only place I feel I can be real and raw.

But, here I am -- I miss blogging at times. I mentioned before that I thought about going "black" - but, I am not sure if that is really what the Lord is asking of me - or my few friends that asked that I don't go in the dark have influenced me to trudge on -- I guess I do have a few followers that are amused by my ramblings.

However, I do believe that there will be changes taking place on this blog. I don't know as to what extent, but I know it will happen - it has already happened.
At first, I was worried about my blog being a "popular" place where I could hopefully earn money. I earned a little bit here and there -- but, I was so intuned with having lots of followers, that my focus was turned away from what really matters-- my family. I desired to be like those other really cool blogs that were so good at creating blog posts and having lots of followers, etc.
To be honest, it would bother me sometimes when a new blog would pop up after being "in the field" for only a short time and would have a ton of followers! I have been blogging for about 4 or more years and have yet to have the audience I desired... what was wrong with me? why couldn't I get that kind of following?

Well, I think God is working in my heart --

Change my heart oh God
Make it ever true
Change my heart oh God
May I be like You

....blogging was not suppose to be about the numbers for me. It was suppose to be a place to be real and a light for Christ to my children and those reading here.

So, what is changing? My heart attitude....I am just going to write when I am felt led to write. I am a part of blogher community and they require that I at least write often -- if i don't write for two weeks, they shut off the ads. Well, they may shut me off -- because I am not writing for them or rather even for you right now. I am writing for me. I am writing for my God -- the audience of ONE. If I don't make post within two weeks, I don't make it....

...I just need to stop worrying about these things and refocus on who I am in the Lord. What doe Christ require of me>? What are HIS desires for me?


Okay, enough for now--- more to come.